


The Sleepyhead and the Smoker

by blondemarimo



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, AoHaru verse, Cheesy, Don't get mad at me, First Kiss, Hungry Days, I don't know what did I write, I'm Sorry, I'm a sucker for lovehate, M/M, Sanji is angy, Zoro is a tease, Zosan Secret Santa 2019, also some violence because our beloved idiots will be always idiots, fast paced, more kisses yay, more like kinda rushed, oh yeah there are some attempted humors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:34:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22051849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blondemarimo/pseuds/blondemarimo
Summary: The story behind why Sanji holds a lollipop instead of a cigarette.
Relationships: Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji
Comments: 7
Kudos: 112





	The Sleepyhead and the Smoker

**Author's Note:**

> It’s been months since I’m writing... I hope this story isn’t really weird.  
> This is for you, Majora! I hope you like it. :) Special thanks to Dee who made this event.  
> Merry christmas and Happy new year!

There are so many weird things in the world. That’s because people grew up in various ways and various places. Majority became the _normal_ standard while the different ones called as _weird_. Sanji understand that, and he wouldn’t judge anyone who is considered _weird_ by the society. Anyone has a unique story.

But this one...

“Muscly dude with green head and three earrings, sleeping below the bathroom’s faucet while holding a mop?” Sanji hums confusedly after being in a daze for seconds. There are so many questions instantly popped into his head.

\---

_“Vinsmoke! How many times should I tell you that smoking is banned in school area!” Sanji closes both of his ears after receiving such a_ _scream. Seriously, why_ _can’t he smoke in peace? He has many problems in his life, and the only way to vent it out is smoking._

_Sanji sighs in annoyance as the teacher snatches the cigarette pack_ _—_ his _cigarette pack by force. Well, it isn’t like he_ _can do anything, because, no matter how you look at it, Sanji is indeed wrong. He’s still a freshman in high school, a fresh 17 years old young boy, so smoking is definitely out of question._

_“As a punishment, clean the bathroom after class!”_

\---

And here he is, in a bathroom, with this... weird dude. Really—Sanji never call out someone as a weirdo because everyone has their own style of life, but somehow this one quirk his mind. Not only his physical appearance, but more into the situation he is? First of all, who would sleep below the faucet?

Anyway. He should do these shits done and go home or he would be late for his part time work. It’s not like Sanji care about whether this algae head would keep sleeping here and ended up locked up in the bathroom later.

So Sanji starts to move his ass to work. Fortunately, he finds another mop other than the dude holds—he also finds some cleaning tools. He works efficiently from door to door, the tiles, the mirrors, everything within his vision. It’s not the first time he does this, and actually he used to do this chore when he was a newbie in Baratie restaurant.

Just as Sanji turns around from a cubicle, something green suddenly gets into his vision. He automatically shrieks and throws the dirty rag that he’s currently holding.

“The fuck?” A rough voice echoes the quiet bathroom and Sanji realizes.

_The green ape has woken up._

“What are you doing?” The muscular boy asked as he takes the dirty rag from his face.

Sanji gawks for seconds. “No, sorry. What are YOU doing?”

“I’m cleaning the bathroom.”

“Sleeping below the faucet is cleaning the bathroom, you say? The bathroom was still dirty as fuck when I got here.” Sanji countered instantly. First, he doesn’t call a person weird, and second, he doesn’t curse to someone he doesn’t know. This marimo head impressively breaks those two principles in just a minute.

“Well I was sleepy! And that’s none of your business! I’m asking you what are you doing here!”

“I’m punished! So I’m cleaning this shit!” Sanji half-screams—seeing the green haired man raises his voice, it makes Sanji raises his voice too. But wait, this guy is supposedly cleaning the bathroom too? That means... “Wait. It means you’re punished too?”

The other man blinks for a second. “Yeah. I’m punished becau—”

The dirty rag lands on his tanned face for the second time.

“You dipshit—I’ve cleaned most of the bathrooms!” Sanji scowls in annoyance. If he knew this guy is supposedly to clean with him, he must have hit him up with the mop earlier. It would be so much better and _fair_ , and he also can go to Baratie early.

Sanji promptly looks at his watch. Speaking of Baratie—yeah, he’s definitely late now. He’s used to be scolded by that vicious old man, and he wouldn’t put his words to his heart, but still—to be late isn’t his style. When he’s about to face the green algae again he—

“Then why didn’t you wake me up? Don’t make it as it’s my entire fault!” the dirty rag changes position again, and now it’s on Sanji’s beautiful face. Oh, this man is really something. With that much stupidness, it’s maybe contagious, so he should get out from here.

“It IS your fault, dumbass! FUCK OFF!” Sanji puts his palm on the other’s face and squezzes it hard. Of course the other man automatically raises his hand and does the same to Sanji. It lasts for a few seconds before Sanji decides to kicks his stomach and he falls down shortly.

Sanji immediately gets out from the bathroom, after steals a glance over the algae man who’s surprisingly already recovered from his deadly kick. He looks at him back with furious expression but he doesn’t stand up. Sanji snorts and leaves.

\---xxx---

Déjà vu is a common intuitive experience that has happened to many people. The expression is derived from the French, meaning "already seen." When it occurs, it seems to spark one’s memory of a place they have already been, a person they have already seen, or an act they have already done.

Sanji doesn’t know if he should be happy with this kind of Déjà vu.

After minutes of searching something blunt in this cold school gym storage, he finds a baseball bat. He takes it and aims at a certain green haired man who’s currently sleeping... and hits his stomach in full force.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Good morning Marimo _-kun_.”

“Who do you call Marimo?!”

Sanji leers at the irritated algae plant. He doesn’t believe, out of hundreds students here, he ends up meeting him again, and on top of that, in similar situation. Is this bad luck?

But anyway. Speaking of similar situation, it means this man is punished too and this time he wouldn’t let himself work so hard while this man just sleeps around like a log.

“Are you aware of your menacing green hair? It’s just so green it irritates me whenever I see them.” Sanji dodges the soccer ball that’s thrown on him. “Anyway. I bet you’re punished too, so, get your ass to work or else I will kick you again like the last time.”

“I have a damn name.” The green haired man stands up and removes the dust that sticked to his clothes before he faces the blonde. “It’s Roronoa Zoro.”

Sanji blinks for seconds before narrows his eyes. “Don’t care. From now on you are Marimo.”

The green ape—Zoro irks but he decides to let it go and start cleaning things. He doesn’t know why he ended up sleeping here instead of cleaning, so actually he’s kind of thankful to this blonde for waking him up.

The school gym storage isn’t really big, but it has so many equipments that should be tidied up. No one speaks for a couple of minutes as they focus on the works, until Sanji breaks the ice.

“Vinsmoke Sanji.”

Zoro is a bit surprised by the sudden talk and immediately turns his head to Sanji’s direction. He sees Sanji wiping a basketball with a rag, but he can’t find out his expression as the blonde hair covers half of his face.

Zoro really tries to have a normal conversation with this cute man, but what came out from his mouth is the opposite.

“What kind of food is that?”

As expected, blood rushes so fast in Sanji’s body as he turns to Zoro and yells. “It’s my fucking name, damn it!” Ah, there it is. His full (raged) face. Zoro doesn’t know himself but he starts to like this expression.

Wait, what?

Zoro mentally slaps himself.

“Why are you punished anyway?” Sanji starts to speak again after a few minutes passes. Zoro wonders why Sanji would botherly to start a conversation again—does he want to be friend with Zoro? Or maybe he’s too bored? Zoro thinks the later is more fit.

“I slept.” Sanji stops wiping the ball he’s holding and turns into Zoro again, asking for further explanation. “I slept in class.”

“Sleeping in class shouldn’t be punished this hard—”

“I slept in four classes straight.”

“Never mind. You deserved this.”

They don’t talk anymore for a while before Zoro finally asks back. “How about you?”

“I smoked.”

“Smoke—” Zoro’s immediate reaction is laughing. “Okay, I know your name is Vinsmoke. But you don’t have to smoke to live your name like that.”

Sanji’s eyebrows tweak angrily. “You’re such a dumbass. It has nothing to do with my name, damn it!”

“Whatever, curly eyebrows.”

Sanji twitches. “I’m sorry?”

“Apologize accepted.”

“You fucking—”

Zoro smirks and somehow feels satisfied that he has made Sanji irritated. “What? You called me Marimo, so I have the right to name you something shit too.”

Unexpectedly, Sanji doesn’t fight back and pouts instead. “Your naming sense is so shit.”

Sanji is back to his work, but not Zoro. He unconsciously stares at Sanji’s pouting lips—wondering how it feels, is it soft? Is it plump? Oh hey, now that he observes the blonde’s face, he has this cute unshaved beard. Is he going to make it long? Oh hey, his blonde hair—

Before Zoro can mentally slap himself for the second time, he’s already slapped by a dirty rag. Again. By the same person. “Stop daydreaming and get your shits done, idiot Marimo.”

It doesn’t hurt, of course. But somehow it irritates Zoro. He slowly takes the rag off of his face and throws it back as hard as Sanji did. Sanji dodges it promptly, but his shoulder hits the rack quite hard.

“It’s not appropriate to throw dirty shit onto other’s face!”

“Well in the first place you’re not appropriate as a human being.”

“What the fuck did you say—WATCH OUT!”

It happens in just a few seconds, but it feels like forever. A basket full of basketballs falls directly to Sanji’s head in slow motion—at least that’s what Sanji sees after Zoro points his finger up. He plans to move aside but suddenly he feels warm—too warm, and it’s pitch black.

Okay, first, it’s not really pitch black. Sanji opens his eyes and finds himself facing Zoro’s broad chest. Huh? Now that he looks at it, he really does have a broad, muscly chest. And it feels warm too, his cheeks can feel it since it’s literally pressed to it. Actually this isn’t a bad thing, you know?

Except, it’s a fucking bad thing.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” Sanji tries to reach Zoro’s shoulders with his hands and meets with Zoro’s face.

“What the fuck am I doing? The basket fell, you dumbass!” Zoro answers with annoying tone. “That tiny body of you wouldn’t be strong enough to endure it!” the green ape continues to rant before looking at Sanji’s blue eyes.

_Uh_ _-oh._

Zoro just realizes that their faces are literally an inch from each other. Zoro also realizes that Sanji’s face is gradually become hot, even though the room temperature hasn’t changed whatsoever.

“What...” Sanji tries to contains himself for a few moments, before continue to kick Zoro. “What the fuck did you just say? I’m not strong enough? You really want a piece of me, huh, Algae plant?!”

Again, Sanji is impressed by how fast Zoro recovered from his kicks. Normally people would whine in pain for minutes, but not Zoro. He sits up and facing Sanji who sits up too.

Zoro doesn’t say anything and just look anywhere but Sanji. His face is a bit red, he seems irritated—or embarrassed? Sanji can’t find it out, not when his own face is literally like a red lobster.

Scratching his neck, Sanji stands up and start cleaning again—shit, more things to be tidied up now. Sanji doesn’t say a thing, and either Zoro who starts to work again (finally!).

They don’t talk anymore until the gym is completely tidied up. When Zoro taking leave first, he stops abruptly when he hears Sanji speaks.

“Thank you, though.”

Zoro glances to find Sanji blushes.

\---xxx---

Weeks after the _School gym storage incident_ —or so Sanji says in his mind, Sanji is actually frustrated because he can’t smoke at noon. And it’s not like he can smoke in Baratie too—he doesn’t want to be yelled by that shitty old man. And home—well, he can smoke at home as he has a literally vast mansion for living, the other family members wouldn’t even realize, but he’s at home only in the evening.

He tries to find secluded area in school, an area that no one would come. And finally, Sanji finds it—the rooftop. It’s positive that no one goes there—why go there in the first place? It has nothing interesting, no chair, no table, literally nothing but a vast place with tall fence.

The blonde man smiles at himself, he’s so happy that he finally found a place to smoke. He skips and hums an upbeat melody while walking there—

Only to find a certain muscle head sleeps on it.

Very funny.

The first reaction that comes out from Sanji is sighing in annoyance and defeat. Once again, why, out of hundreds students here, he must meet with this walking tree? Why must he? And why must him?

The second reaction that comes out from Sanji is blushing. He’s lying if he says he doesn’t think about the _incident_ that happened weeks ago. He tried to erase that memory, but it stays and Sanji’s mind automatically plays it every time he goes to sleep.

Sanji approached the sleeping figure and sits beside him. Well, he’s not a teacher anyway, so he still can smoke here. Sanji fishes the cigarette pack from his pocket and lits it.

After feeling a heaven through a few inhales of his cancer stick, Sanji glances at Zoro. This plant is still not moving even an inch—is he always sleeping so soundly like this?

Truth to be told, a week after that incident, Sanji actually looked up information about Zoro through friends and colleagues. Yes, Sanji checked Zoro out. Not that he would admit this—he wouldn’t, especially to Zoro, because Zoro would make him a laughing stock.

And so he found interesting things.

First, Zoro is surprisingly popular. He’s a Kendo athlete and he already won some competitions despite being a freshman.

Second, he’s surprisingly stupid—hmm, it’s not surprising honestly. He sleeps through classes and barely passes any exams except sports.

Third, he doesn’t really have friends, but he has a close friend named Luffy—the only boy who wears a straw hat in school.

Fourth, his ridiculous green hair is natural.

Fifth, he has three earrings.

Sixth, according to his classmate, he has a big diagonal scar on his chest—just thinking about it makes Sanji shivered in fear.

Seventh, he sleeps whenever he wants.

Eighth, his chest is so broad that Sanji wants to touch it again.

Ninth, he’s hot.

Tenth, he’s ridiculously hot it makes Sanji thought about him almost every day.

“What are you staring at?”

Sanji is caught red handed staring intensely at Zoro. His face immediately goes red and turns his gaze to anything but Zoro. As Zoro yawns and sits up beside Sanji, Sanji puts his usual annoyed face.

“I’m just thinking why a walking Marimo like you can sleep everywhere.”

“Because I can, dart brows.”

A few moments passes without a word. They just, being there—side by side, shoulders almost bumps, both looking away.

“After that many punishment, you still won’t give up on smoking, huh.” Zoro glances at Sanji who inhales his cigarette—this time is quite long because of the nervousness. “What a moron.”

“You’re no one to talk, you’re still sleeping everywhere like a dead wood. Green, dirty wood.”

“Sleeping is a need. Smoking is a bad addiction.”

“Sleeping too much would bring you horrible sickness.”

“I’m not sick. You’re sick.”

“Okay, now you’re lecturing me? Oh how kind. What would I do without you.”

Zoro twitched in anger. He’s trying to be a good buddy here, why Sanji’s response is always irked him? He sighs in annoyance. “I mean, you’re a cook. I heard cigarette could make your tongue insensitive, so you better stop before it’s too late.”

Sanji jolted for a moment before he turns to find Zoro’s eyes on him. “You... why did you know that?”

“Huh?! It’s because...” Zoro trailed off and his eyes dilated gradually.

_Oh shit._

Sanji waits, but Zoro doesn’t say anything. The Marimo seems to break his brain out or something, because he only stares at Sanji with a gaping mouth like a stupid dickhead. Zoro is stupid but this time Sanji believes it’s ten times more stupid.

Seconds passed and Zoro looks like he finally has control over himself. Sanji is about to mock him but suddenly freezes as Zoro says something.

“No one would be stupid enough not to check out a cute guy like you.”

Sanji’s jaw goes down so hard it breaks the rooftop tiles.

Wait, what is this? Zoro has been checking Sanji out? What the actual fuck—what the fuck.

Sanji suggests himself not to freak out— _calm down, don’t lose it, don’t break down, don’t kick him, don’t curse, don’t_ _—_

“But you’re technically stupid.” Sanji finally answers, making Zoro wants to flip an imaginary table because _damn._

“ Oh, shut the fuck up curly.”

\---xxx---

It’s true that Zoro has been checking Sanji out, and by checking out, he actually only asked Luffy about it. Since Luffy has this strange friendly aura, he has many friends. And it happens that Luffy knows some trivias about the blonde through his friend Usopp—Zoro even ended up befriended with him.

From what Usopp said, Sanji is a _literally prince_ —he has a very big mansion with three brothers and a sister. Despite that, Sanji works as a part-timer in Baratie restaurant because he likes to cook and wants to polish his cooking talents. He’s good at academic, but he has bad relationship with some of the teachers because of his smoking habit—this one Zoro already knows.

Also, it seems that the swirly curly eyebrows is natural.

Truth to be told, Zoro wants to _be involved_ again with Sanji. During these three weeks, he had at least three punishments, but Sanji wasn’t around like usual. It’s not like Zoro waits for Sanji, but—but it might be good if Sanji is around again.

Zoro is on the verge of making himself visit Sanji’s class, but the thing is, he doesn’t know what to talk when he faces Sanji. And also it seems that the school’s building is moving on its own—just to reach his own class is so much work for Zoro, you know? Fuck it.

And to think that Sanji would come to him by himself like this...

Well, of course this is accidental. Zoro doesn’t tell this sacred place to anyone—even Luffy, because he would make uproar here. Zoro believes Sanji must have searched quiet places or corner to smoke and stumbled upon this place.

Earlier, Zoro was surprised like hell when he opened his eyes to meet a cute blondie sat by his side. Sanji seemed in daze— _what, he’s looking at my chest? Why?_ So Zoro decided to startle and tease him.

But he doesn’t plan to blurt shit out like this.

And on top of that, he got mocked as an answer.

Zoro sighs in annoyance and hides his face with his hand. God, Sanji would make him a laughing stock after this. Great.

... Speaking of Sanji, he usually would insult more or kick his stomach. Why is he quiet all of sudden—

“... Cook?”

“Hm?”

Zoro scratches his head. “... Why aren’t you freaked out?”

“Why should I?”

“Normally people would freak out.”

Sanji inhales his cigarette for the last time before he throws it and steps on it. He doesn’t budge an inch for a moment before glancing at Zoro in shy gesture.

“Because I... did the same thing? Kinda?”

Zoro can see Sanji’s ears are so red, as red as his face right now— _God he’s so cute I could die_. Zoro’s brain tries to process it and finally, he realizes _that_. He then approaches Sanji while chuckling.

“What the hell are you doing? Fuck off.”

Sanji says angrily as he dodges Zoro’s hand on his shoulder. Zoro doesn’t care, no matter how mad Sanji is right now, he’s seen as an _angy cutie_ in Zoro’s eyes.

“Don’t wanna.” Zoro teases more, and keeps approaching until their forehead bump to each other.

Sanji doesn’t stop whining—a mix of cursing and insulting Zoro, but in a cute tone— while Zoro is just, there, a few inch from Sanji’s face, admiring how pretty he is. Zoro marches forward more and stops abruptly when he sees Sanji stops whining and closes his eyes.

How—how can someone be this cute?

Sanji feels his heart is about to burst, waiting for whatever to come—except it isn’t coming. A few seconds pass without any progression, makes Sanji opens his eyes again to find Zoro smirking like an idiot mosshead.

“You stupid asshole—”

Before Sanji finishes his sentence, Zoro captures his lips with his own. Sanji gasps, and closes his eyes as he melts into Zoro’s warm kisses. His hands automatically search for a grip—so he holds Zoro’s chest that he has dreaming for, and he puts his another hand to hug Zoro’s neck.

Sanji never thought that an idiot algae plant like Zoro is capable of making him sighs in delight just from a mere kiss. Zoro deepens the kiss as his tongue searching for an entrance in Sanji’s mouth. Sanji opens his lips and immediately receives a wild but hot tongue, making him moans unconsciously.

Their first kiss is so good, Sanji doesn’t want to break this off. But their lungs have capacities so they end it after a few minutes.

At this point Sanji might have all of his blood rushed into his face, so he doesn’t dare to look up at Zoro. But he instantly looks up when the Marimo groans in displeasure.

“Fuck, it’s so bitter.” Zoro complains and Sanji’s curly eyebrow twitched in anger. “Don’t smoke again if you want me to keep kissing you.”

“Fuck off!”

“Nah.”

The rest of the day filled with Sanji whining and Zoro complaining, and a lot of kisses between that.

\---xxx---

“Oi, Vinsmoke! I told you not to smoke in school area! And you’re not even legal to smoke!” A teacher snatches a dangling thing between Sanji’s mouth, before gaping in confusion—

“It’s not a cigarette, sir. It’s a lollipop. Give it back to me.”

The teacher sees him in wonders, but gives the lollipop back to him. “... That’s good, then.”

**_OMAKE_ **

****

Zoro goes down and brushes Sanji’s lips with his. As always, it’s so soft, tender and delicate. At first, Zoro intended only to peck his lips, but a few moments later it becomes a battle of tongues.

Zoro doesn’t need to ask to open Sanji’s mouth as he already opens it widely to welcome him. Zoro holds Sanji’s head closer to him and hugs him tighter. The Marimo tilts his head slightly for a better angle when Sanji sighs in pleasure involuntarily. They’re literally trying to eat each other as there’s no gap between them.

“Hmm yeah.” Zoro groans in Sanji’s ear. “Lollipop taste is far more better than cigarettes taste. Try to reduce smoking more, okay?”

Sanji chuckles. “You cut down your sleeping time just for kissing me by the way. Aren’t you gonna die soon? Please do.”

The sleepyhead nuzzles into the smoker’s neck. “Kissing you is worth to die for.”

**END**

**Author's Note:**

> Cheesy, I know. I’m sorry sfjdsfhsjhglg :(
> 
> Any of you using Twitter? If you don’t mind, you can follow me @blondemarimo I open translation commissions and rant about Zosan and gay shits there almost everyday. I will follow you back.
> 
> Comments are very loved. :)


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